1/31/11: Crap

Crap - something I say before I get on the scale, something I say after I get off the scale, stuff I shove my pie-hole with that cause me to say the things before, something I accidentally say in front of my kid and she repeats it.  That Ben and Jerrys yesterday was the last hurrah in the world of crap.  I'm clearly struggling for pictures the last few days.

1/30/11: Chubby Hubby

I don't have a lot to say here. I love me some Chubby Hubby.  This particular cup/carton (I'm not really sure what to call this? Weird) had the BIGGEST piece of peanut butter in it. Bigger than any I've ever had in all the Chubby Hubby I've ever eaten.  That really is the best part ya know.

1/29/11: Next Store

We had to do some grocery shopping and that included hitting up three different stores.  Morgan would excitedly get back in the car and proclaim "Next Store!".  She was upset when I finally told her at the end of the night that the next store was home. The kids were in rare form this day. Thank God Paul was with me because Morgan could.not.be.contained.  She kept running through the store, throwing fits, etc.  Typical 2.5 year old behavior. She's lucky we were so happy with her Potty Training. She even got to pick out a prize at Target for being so good. She was finally contained at the end by her own cart.

Rylee on the other hand is happy with my camera in her face and a Lean Cuisine. Puffs and a bottle help too. It's the little things in life.

1/28/11: Conway's Irish Ale

This is my favorite Great Lakes beer. Flame me all you want Christmas Ale-ers, this beer is better.  I do still love me some Christmas Ale though.  I've had a two year hiatus from this beer.  Last year I was pregnant with Rylee and we intended to get some in April, to save for when I had her in May.  Except halfway through April we couldn't find it and never did and I never got any.  I was super sad.  The minute the clock struck 12 on 1/1/11 I've been ready for this beer.  I've been looking.  I was really hoping Rays would have it when we were out but they were still selling Christmas Ale..sigh.  I finally found it this day, it was better than I remembered.  If you haven't tried this and you are a beer lover, give it a shot and tell me what you think! I don't think you will be disappointed. 

1/27/11: A day of milestones

Today marked Miss Rylee being 8 months.  Wow where has the time gone?  As I mentioned before this one is a slick one.  She started saying mamamama the other day and I can only attribute it to how many times she hears Morgan yell "Mommy!" all day long. She is a very good imitator and will mimic almost anything you do. In general she is a really happy baby.  She army crawls her way EVERYWHERE. She also enjoys pulling Morgan's hair. A lot.  Morgan, on the other hand, is not a fan. (Of the hair pulling that is, she loves Rylee)  Listening to her and Morgan giggle with each other just might be the best sound these days.

The other milestones, today?  Morgan has 5 months until she's 3 and oh yes, I'm 29.5!  Happy half-birthday to me! 6 more months until the dirty thirty!

1/26/11: Amazon

If you haven't discovered Amazon.com yet, you really don't know what you are missing out on.  Also are you a mom? Do you  have a .edu address that still works?  If you have either one you can sign up for Amazon Mom, or Amazon Student and get 2 day Free Shipping.  I signed up for Amazon Mom at the end of last summer and when that ran up I signed up for Amazon Student using my old Kent address.  At this point the UPS man and I are tight.  I know him, he's probably super annoyed by me and my dogs, it's a match made in free shipping heaven.  I think I did all but a day or two of my Christmas shopping online this year.  Do you realize how nice it is when you need diapers, fellow moms?  Not only does being an Amazon mom automatically get you a nice 15% off baby items like diapers, if you use subscribe and save you get ANOTHER 15% off.  So 30% off diapers that are delivered to my door, free, in two days? Yesiwilltakethemthankyouverymuchbuhbye! Today's present at the door were wipes..and no they were not for Paul..be jealous people be very, very jealous.

1/25/11: Happy 21st Birthday, Ashley!

 Today was my brother's girlfriend, Ashley's 21st birthday.  Here is how the night started:

I iz so happy, I iz getting free shots!

Remember when you turned 21? There is really no where to go but down from this picture on.  Ashley had been out at midnight the night before so I give her props for being able to go out 2 nights in a row.  In the time since my Corey turned 21 (2 years ago) the three of us (Corey, Kelly and I) have not all been out together with our significant others.  This seemed like a perfect opportunity.   Some of us forgot how old we are. Oops. The kids (all 3!) headed to Grandma Kathy's for a sleepover (thanks mom!), we called a cab (Cab's Are Herrreee!) and headed to downtown Kent.

Now seeing it was a Tuesday night, Kent isn't really hopping.  We started at Rays and they still had Christmas Ale on tap.  This is where some people's nights started to go all wrong.  After that we headed to Mugs and I think we were the only people there.  Somehow some cheerleader lifting competition began between the Out-Laws (Paul, Greg, and Ashley) and the Grahams. You can decide the winner for yourself but I think we all know who won.

Grahams:1 OutLaws: 0

Grahams:2 OuLaws:0

Grahams: 3 OutLaws: -1 (They almost dropped her)

Finally a group shot, because at some point of the night  you have to turn in to the cast of Saved by the Bell. I'm not sure who is who but Greg is most definitely AC Slater.

After Mugs we went to Glory Days (which I know is called Water Street Tavern but in my day, it was Glory Days and it used to be next to Paninis, which no longer exists. I'm dating myself)  We were umm asked to leave shortly after because someone *cough*Ashley*cough* wasn't feeling so well in the bathroom.  So we headed back to Rays. This is how Ashley's night ended..back at the place where it all started..

I iz tired, take me home to my awesome hangover bucket.

On a side note, my boot broke that night. Within the first 15 minutes. I was walking to the bathroom and thought it felt funny. I looked down and saw this. Let's just say between that and ice outside I fell no less than 2 times that night. Boo.

1/24/11: To wipe his butt!!

Taking two kids to the store is a task. Especially taking them by yourself while one is potty training and the baby is the only one that fits in the cart these days so you have to chase around the 2.5 year old.  On this particular day we ventured out to buy Ashley (my brother's GF) something for her 21st birthday.  It was intended to be a short trip but it didn't turn out that way.  If it wasn't for the humor of toddlers, I might have pulled my hair out.  

Morgan enjoys roaming the aisles and putting random things in our cart that we do not need.  Now this is probably TMI but Paul is always telling me he wants these little wipes above for himself.  I humored him and put them in his Christmas stocking this year, so of course Morgan took note.  For Ashley's birthday I was putting together a hangover kit for her so we were hanging out picking up things at the travel aisle.  Morgan had put no less than 20 things in our cart by this point so I just stopped paying attention until I heard her scream something as loud as can be when she dropped the most recent item in.  I couldn't understand her or see what she put in the cart so I asked her again. (At this point she had screamed it at least 3 times and there were at least 3 other customers near us)  Then I noticed these wipes in our cart and she yelled again "I GET THESE FOR DADDY TO WIPE HIS BUTT!"  I just had to chuckle, Paul is lucky he wasn't with us. It's funny the things kids can remember.

1/23/11: P90X

Paul decided a while back that he wanted to try P90X.  He borrowed the DVDs from a friend and decided to start this week.  He only got one day in, and after the next few posts you might see why.  He's decided to give it a real start come Monday morning.  After he did do the one day though he did tell me he was incredibly sore in places he wasn't even sure you could get sore.  He also told me how much he does not like Tony Horton and what a douche bag he was on the DVDs.  I would have to agree because I have old Power 90 workout tapes (yes tapes as in VHS) and he runs those and he's a tool.  If Paul sticks with this I've promised him to be the focus of the blog on days 30, 60, and 90 of his workout.  If that doesn't motivate someone, I'm not sure what will!

1/21/11: Rub a dub dub!

Rylee is finally at the age where I can put her in the tub with Morgan and kill two birds with one stone.  It's great because they love playing in the tub together and I don't have to do double bath duty! Yay!  There isn't so much of a story here, just that I have really cute babies.  One with an incredible amount of hair and the other with barely any. She makes up for hair with chub!  They both have pretty eyes though, right?  Yah, those aren't mine. I can't take credit, but they are beautiful!  Love those girls!

1/20/11: Shots, shots, shots!

My sister and I made the awful mistake of teaching Morgan to do the Ronnie face dance from Jersey Shore. I've tried to find video of him doing it, but alas I cannot. 

Morgan finds it hilarious and now busts it out at random times.  For whatever reason on this particular night we were listening to LMFAO's Shots! song. (I know, not the best kids music but she wasn't in the room when I started playing the video)  It's a damn catchy song (as seen below) and Morgan pulled out her famous move.

We're so proud.

1/19/11: Happy Birthday Mom!

G

Today was my mom's birthday!  How old do you think she looks? Whatever you say I guarantee she's older. That may sound like a bad thing but it's not.  No one ever believes me when I tell them how old my parents are. You'll find out via the cake  below, if you haven't looked already. I told mi madre that she would be the focus of my blog post and that I would need a picture.  She made me take a bunch and instead of posting the best one? I posted them all.  HAHA!

I made this cake for my mom and a few things went wrong.  First the conversation I had via facebook with my dad went as so:

Dad: Hey can you make your mom a cake?

Me: Yah

Dad: We'll be over tonight around 7:00 pm, she wants chocolate with chocolate icing

Me: I know, this isn't news.

Dad: Can you tell Corey and Kelly? I know it's short notice but that's how I roll.

Really? There are a few things my dad should not be saying and this is definitely one of them. That's how he rolls? Since when does he even roll to have a type of roll?  Anywho...

The packets of sugar letters to decorate the cake are a hot commodity in these parts.  My sister once tried to cut a bitch for some.  Okay what really happened is when she was 16ish, she wanted them, my brother took them and she said some pretty choice four letter words to my brother in front of my parents. Over sugar letters. Yup. 

 Clearly there are not enough A's. We got creative and made an 8 a substitute A.  Also? That right side? Whoa, hot mess.  Paul and I attempted to ice it while it was too warm and well that happened.  We kept then trying to "fix" and it just made it worse. Whatever it tasted awesome! ...that's how I roll.

This final picture is for my mom's friend Sandy.  Sandy is one day older than my mom and a picture with the numbers backwards was posted to her FB on her birthday.  My dad didn't want my mom to be left out, so here ya go!

In closing, my mother totally rules! She is the best mom in the entire world. She really truly is, so thanks mom and Happy Birthday!!! :)

1/18/11: My laptop

PaulIt sucks. I refuse to buy a new one though since it technically works and I don't want to spend the money on a new one. Some of it's many problems?  I have a random blue strip going down the center of it at all times. Not so good for looking at pictures and things. It randomly goes white all.the.time because something is loose inside. We've even tightened (okay when I say we I mean Paul) it up once and it still does it. The battery no longer works so it always has to be plugged in. Want to know how many new power cords I've had to by in the life of this laptop? Probably 6 or 7.  They always end up fraying or the wires get exposed and it craps out.  Other than those things it works fine as a computer.  Paul bought something on Ebay to fix the whole white screen thing. It came from China today. He attempted to fix it tonight. It did not work...ARGGHHHH!

1/17/11: Home again, Home again

I'm not sure where that saying comes from but I just remember my Grandma Kay always saying it when we returned to her house after being out.  I tend to say it to Morgan and Rylee now when we get home.  I was super happy to be home after a long weekend away. 

Our flight left at 7:10 that morning and we had to get up pretty early.  As you can imagine we were running late. By the time we got our tickets it was already 6:30. Yikes! Let's just say we got to the gate just as it was our turn to board a la Home Alone.  Flight home with kids was about the same except that Morgan was extra talkative.  She gave everyone on the plane a rousing rendition or 12 of Twinkle, twinkle.  She followed that up with Happy Birthday.  At one point she just yelled (as loud as possible, I don't know where she gets that!) "Happy Birthday!" Followed by, "I just told all the peoples Happy Birthday!"  She sure is good entertainment.

My parents picked us up from the airport and took us home. Let's just say the car ride was eventful. Apparently my mom's driver side window is broken.  As in it won't roll up on occasion.  Of course my dad had to roll it down to pay for short-term parking. It didn't roll back up. We spent the entire ride home (on the freeway nontheless) with the driver's side window rolled all the way down.  Also? My dad called a driver in front of him at the toll booth a buttwipe. I've heard him say more colorful things so maybe that was for the kids??

I'll finish up with a few things I learned this weekend:

1. Minnesota is indeed West of Ohio.

2. There are moose AND mousse in Minnesota

3. Minnesota is an hour different from Ohio. For instance the Bachelor comes on from 7-9. They do NOT see the episode before us however.

4. Paul once pooped in his room on the floor near a trashcan when he was 3 because he was afraid to go downstairs.

5. If you turn your bike upside down you can pretend you are the girl in Rumpelstiltskin spinning gold.

6. My brother is a megadork.  He and Ashley watched our animals while we were gone and this is how I found him upon return:

1/16/11: Ducky is Reborn

Ducky is Morgan's lovie.  She rarely does anything without him. She once left him at my mom's and it was pretty traumatic.  My brother Corey got Ducky for Morgan for my baby shower. Any parent knows you need back ups of your kids lovies.  I can't find this damn duck to save my life. He swears he got it at Babies R Us. I think he's lying because it's not there.  So as you can imagine Ducky is pretty much in shambles. If he was a cat this would be his 9th life.  Let me show you a before picture of Ducky (pre-surgery): 

Ducky has no body and he's lucky his arms and legs are still attached at this point. He has basically no stuffing and Morgan likes to chew on him as you can see. It was awful. I couldn't even wash him because I was afraid he would rip apart into pieces. You can imagine the smell. Yuck.

Grandma Cindy with the help of Mindy and Calli went to work at making Ducky a new man. He either hit the roids or did some binge drinking in MN because this is his after picture, a reverse Biggest Loser if you will:

Morgan proclaimed that Ducky was All Better!  Hopefully this holds up for a long time!!

1/15/11: Mall of America and the tale of the lost Giftcards

On Saturday we headed to the Mall of America. Honestly? I'm not sure what else there is to do in MN in January. I'm not a huge shopper but this place was so cool.  I loved the design of the whole place and just all the things there were to see.  I don't think you could hit everything in one day.

We started out by heading to Nickelodeon Universe.  This place is like a toddler's dream! I wish we had more time to just let Morgan run around and take it all in but there was so much to do. 

We continued on to Old Navy (where I scored some seriously awesome deals!) and then headed to Hooters for lunch. Yes, there is one IN the Mall of America and yes we all went there. They have some damn good food...the best thing? Fried Pickles!  I love those things and so does Morgan. Yum, yum, yum!

So then we went around to a few more places and finally landed at Gap. Gap is my mecca since I had kids. I can't get enough of this place. I had a bunch of gift cards from Christmas so I was ready to shop.  I took all my stuff down to the first floor...(yes Gap was 2 freakin floors!) and went to get out the gift cards. I'm sure you all see where this is heading - they were not there.  They were not anywhere.  Total panic. I had like $500 of gift cards in this little bag and it was gone! I went all over the Gap and couldn't find them. We looked and called every other store we'd been to.  We called Hooters. (I was positive I'd lost them there.) Nothing. Nada. Zilch.  Major Mall of America fail.

Would you be super suprised if I told you we called the next morning and Old Navy HAD THEM!?! Because they did. That is unreal to me. I don't know how they got lost or what but by some miracle either a worker or a customer found them and they had them for me behind the checkout.  YAY!!! and PHEW!

1/14/11: To Grandmother's house we go!

I'll admit, I had a little anxiety about flying with the kids for the first time. For real though? They were super awesome rockstar kids. We flew out of CLE and it was so super easy. We checked our bags and headed to security.  Due to the girls, the lady let us go in the super fast security line (the one for preferred passengers or whatever). We sailed right through there..okay I did get body scanned but it was NOT a big deal as I imagined it to be. I was in this glass tunnel  for like 2 seconds and held up my arms.  It reminded me of one of those machines where you go in and money swirls around and you see how much you can grab. Except it was open on 2 ends, oh and it didn't contain any money.  They scanned me and I walked out.

After security we headed to the gate.  I was excited to find out that families get a little preference in boarding too! Kick ass. So we got to get on a situate ourselves after the A group went on.  We got into our seats and the kids were soooo awesome! 

Rylee did this during most of her flying experience:

Yes that is her asleep on my lap. Mindy, Rylee, and I were in one row while Paul, Morgan and Calli were in another.  Morgan really enjoyed the plane.  When she heard the engine start up she screamed: "Ready, guys!?!"  She spent her time chatting, looking out the window, and watching her DVD player as seen below:

As you know from above, I did not sit with Paul during the trip. He claims that Morgan's apple juice expanded in her cup and came out of the straw and all over his pants. He swears he did not pee himself. I wasn't there and I'm still undecided.

All in all it was sooo smooth and I was so relieved! 

1/13/11: Over the river and through the woods..

Yes, this was the disaster that was my bed at about 10:00 pm before our 9:45 am flight the next morning. I had the glorious task of having to pack not only myself but both girls.  Do you know how much stuff you have to take for a baby and toddler - especially when you are flying!?  I honestly do not know if Paul and I could have done it without his sisters. We had 3 huge carry-ons and 4 suitcases plus 2 carseats, oh yah and don't forget about the 2 kids.  You know what's worse than packing?  Unpacking for three people.  It's still not done. Ugh.

1/12/11: It's a belated Christmas Miracle

I've known Ed and Rachel for I would venture to say at least 20+ years.  Ed was even my 4th grade boyfriend. Yup, that's right people he even had his sister bring my mom a teddy bear one afternoon. (He then rudely demanded it back a few weeks later in the lunch line of all places.  That's another story for another time though) If you would have told me in HS that Ed and Rachel would be married with kids now there is no way I would have believed you. If you would have told me our kids would hang out and be friends?  I might have believed you but I wouldn't have imagined them being Ed AND Rachel's kids together. Lucky for us they did and they all happen to be around the same ages.

Morgan and Julia are BFFs. Hardcore. They entertain themselves by flipping over couches, speaking a language us parents don't understand, and bouncing their happy little faces off.  Katelyn and Rylee are basically along for the ride at this point but I'm sure one day they will be BFFs too.  Julia and Morgan were dying to see each other and today was the day. Rachel brought the girls over and they played all morning until reluctantly it was nap time.

The mircale I speak of is the picture above.  This was the first and only shot.  All 4 of them sat down, looked at the camera and said cheese.  Rachel and I were shocked.  If you have kids, you know what a difficult process picture taking can be.  

I'm really hoping that our kids will be friends for 20+ years like we all are. (Although someone needs to have a boy soon, because really? We have our hands full.)

1/11/11: Let it snow, let it snow

This post is going to have a lot of random thoughts.  

1. I'm a numbers freak so this day was especially cool.  I even made a wish at 11:11 pm <----- Dork

2. Paul took this picture. Let me just say you are all lucky.  Most of the time when I leave him to take the picture of the day his first idea is to take a picture of his butt.  You can all thank me later.

3. Mark Johnson is my nemesis. He's soo dramatic about weather and he normally interrupts General Hospital to tell me how 1 snowflake fell.  I'm sure at some point before winter is over I will have one post dedicated just to him. 

4. Back in October I got the crazy idea to buy some plane tickets and visit Paul's mom in Minnesota in January 2011. Yes you read right, MINNESOTA in JANUARY.  I was astonished when I found out that MN does not in fact have palm trees, blowing breezes, and drinks with fun little umbrellas in them.  Needless to say I'd already bought the tickets so here we are. We leave on Friday the 14th. Yes when I say we I mean all 4 of us plus 2 of Paul's sisters.  In order to get ready for said trip - I had to drive in this mess last night and get formula, snacks, gadgets, gizmos and anything else that will keep my children from making a scene on our flight. Do you think I will be judged for ordering a drink on my mid-morning flight with children?

1/10/11: It's that time again

Time for another class to start that is.  Paul and I have both been through some personal highs and lows over the last few years.  In one particular low, Paul decided he needed a career change.  He was tired of working retail and wanted to do something different. He decided (with a little prodding from me) to go back to school to get his Masters in Technology/Computers. (I don't know the formal term at the moment)  Turns out he got that career change he was looking for a few months after he started school.  Funny how the world works, huh?  The great thing about his new job is that they pay for him to go to school. I believe this is his 7th class and so far he has a 4.0.  That may not seem like a big deal but a lot has gone on in our lives since he's gone back to school.  For instance, Paul started a new job, he took two of those classes at once, we had a BABY and a crazy toddler. He's even started his own side business fixing computers. I just have to say how super proud of him we all are!

1/9/11: The Great Clip Incident of 2011

Better known as the day I saved Rylee's life or maybe the day she decided to try to end mine. Here I was minding my own business, chatting with my mom on the phone. She was on the floor in the living room (right in front of me) and I noticed her "chewing" on something. She always does this and 9 times out of 10 she has nothing in her mouth. I always check if I see her doing it just to be sure.

So I go over and put my finger in her mouth and feel something metal. Something big. As I put my finger in I pushed it back slightly. It was to the point where it was about to go down her throat..and then it did. With my finger still around it.

Here I am freaking out because by now I see it's one of Morgan's little snap clips and it's snapped open. So every time I try to pull it out it scrapes her mouth and throat. I was so afraid I was going to lose it because I didn't have it that well but I would NOT let it go. I had to put my fingers all the way down her throat TWICE and the second time I finally fished it out.

I thought for sure it was going to get lodged, open, and she was going to choke to death. Paul and I aren't receiving any Parent of the Year awards anytime soon as we both freaked out. I also in turn freaked out my mother because she was still on the phone with me while this was going on and then Paul hung up on her. We did manage to save our child from death so score 1 or maybe 1/2 for us!

Prescription of Xanax? Yes, please.

1/8/11: Disney on Ice

This day deserves a few photos. Let me start with the backstory. In May of 2010 not only was I majorly pregnant with Rylee, I was closely following the Cleveland Cavs in the playoffs. We all know how that ended and how the summer went, blah blah, blah. At the time though I had high hopes. Paul started a new job last year and they give away tickets to a bunch of different things through a raffle. Somehow Paul won tickets to a Cavs playoff game. He also got picked for Dawg Pound tickets to a Browns game. He had to pick. Stupidly we decided to choose the Cavs because we were caught up in playoff fever. He got to pick which game and our best bet that was left was the 2nd game of the Eastern Conference Finals. Looking at the calendar I knew the game was going to fall right around my due date. I really wanted to be able to go to this game and A) not be pregnant and B) drink beer. Turns out I worried for nothing because they Cavs didn't even make it to the Eastern Conference finals and I ended up having Rylee 8 days late.

Looking back we really should have gone with the Browns tickets. Major fail. We did get a consolation prize though, are you ready? Have you guessed yet? Yes, instead of a profanity-laced, drunken sports event, we got tickets to Disney on Ice: Toy Story 3! We got 4 tickets so we (read: Paul) decided that Kelly and I should take Morgan and Mack. So Saturday we packed up and headed down to the Q. I wasn't sure how they would do and they did get a little restless during the 2nd half but overall they did better than I expected. She won't stop talking about the "show" and when we can go back and who can come with us. It was nice to do something with just Morgan for once. We did have a lot of fun and the show was really good. (Even though I haven't seen TS3 yet!)